He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons.

After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field.

The next day the kids show up and they see this sign, it says “Warning!! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.” So the kids run off, make up their own sign and post it next to the sign that the farmer made.

When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field.

He noticed that no watermelons were missing, but the sign next to his read: “Now there are two!”

Lesson: Lies can exploit the situation further. Make truthful decisions.

Today my daughter overslept

The day began when my daughter overslept, then realized she forgot to do her homework.

As I drove her to school, I snapped, “I don’t want to hear a peep out of you.”

When we arrived, she asked, “Can I talk now?”

“Okay,” I grumbled.

“I forgot my lunch”

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The man sits down and orders a beer. The monkey jumps on the bar and eats a very old olive that was there.

The bartender says, “Did you see what your monkey did? He ate that disgusting olive!”

The man says, “Oh, he does stuff like that all the time. Just ignore it.”

The man finishes his beer and he and the monkey leave.

A few days later the man and the monkey return to the bar. The man sits down and orders a beer. The monkey jumps on the pool table and swallows the white ball.

The bartender says, “Did you see what your monkey did? He swallowed the white ball!”

The man says, “Oh, he does stuff like that all the time. Just ignore it.”

The man finishes his beer and he and the monkey leave.

A week later, the man and the monkey return to the bar. The man sits down and orders a beer.

The monkey jumps on the bar, takes a cherry, sticks it up to his b-u.t.t, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender says, “This is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. Your monkey stuck that cherry up his b-u.t.t and ate it.”

The man says, “Yes, he measures everything first ever since the white ball incident”

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!

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