\nFamilies are held together by laughter, and there\u2019s no better way to strengthen ties than with a selection of jokes that everyone can laugh at. This ultimate collection of family-friendly humor, which includes cheeky puns and heart-stopping one-liners, is sure to make your day.\n
These carefully chosen treasures are ideal for all ages, whether you\u2019re sharing them over dinner, on a lengthy road trip, or on a leisurely Sunday at home.Family vacation packages\n
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Prepare to laugh and grin!\n The Note Under the Bed A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note saying, \u201cI\u2019ve had enough and have left you. Don\u2019t bother coming after me.\u201d\n Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.\n After a short while, the husband came home, and she could hear him in the kitchen before he entered the bedroom. She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.\n \u201cShe\u2019s finally gone\u2026 Yeah, I know, about time, right? I\u2019m coming to see you. Put on that sexy French nightie. I love you\u2026 Can\u2019t wait to see you\u2026 We\u2019ll do all the naughty things you like.\u201dBest gifts for your loved ones\n He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left.\n She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed. Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote\u2026\n \u201cI can see your feet. We\u2019re out of bread: be back in five minutes.\u201d\n The Mischievous Grandmas on a Bench \u201cNow, now, ladies,\u201d a nurse said, walking past them. \u201cYou need to get your sunshine time before tea. And behave!\u201d\n Her words only set them off again. Soon, they spotted an old man walking by and decided to have a bit of fun with him.\n \u201cWe bet we can tell exactly how old you are,\u201d one of the grandmas yelled out at him.\n The old man scoffed.\n \u201cThere\u2019s no way that you can guess it, you three old fools.\u201d\n \u201cSure we can!\u201d another grandma insisted. \u201cJust drop your pants and we can tell your exact age!\u201d\n \u201cWhat?\u201d he exclaimed.\n Embarrassed but intrigued, the old man dropped his pants, the sunlight shining on his bottom.\n The grandmas stared and whispered among themselves. And then said in unison, \u201cYou\u2019re 91 years old!\u201d\n \u201cHow in the world did you guess?\u201d the old man asked, shocked.\n The grandmas snickered and replied,\n \u201cBecause we were at your birthday party yesterday!\u201d one grandma said as the other two collapsed into giggles again.\n Refrigerator Mayhem Enraged, he picked up the refrigerator and hurled it out the window at the unsuspecting stranger, then had a heart attack and died.\n In heaven, St. Peter listened to his story and sent him straight to hell.\n Moments later, the man from the Volkswagen appeared, explaining he was minding his own business when a fridge crushed him.\n St. Peter shook his head and sent him to hell, too.\n Finally, a third man arrived, trembling, and said, \u201cI don\u2019t even know what happened. One moment, I was hiding inside a fridge\u2026\u201d\n The Pharmacist\u2019s Explanation Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully, she explained, \u201cIt\u2019s the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone!\u201d\n Angrily, the husband drove down to the chemist to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. However, before he could say a word, the pharmacist told him, \u201cNow, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up.\u201d\n \u201cI went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, only to realize that I had locked the house with both my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened up, there was already a crowd waiting. All the while, the phone kept ringing off the hook.\u201d\n \u201cThen I had to break a roll of coins against the cash register drawer to make the change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins; the phone was still ringing.\n When I stood up, I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase full of perfume bottles. Believe it or not, all of them hit the floor and broke. Meanwhile, the phone was still ringing and would not let up, and I finally got to answer it.\u201d\n \u201cIt was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer and believe me, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.\u201d\n Dear Old George\u2019s Annual Check-Up After his check-up, George sat and chattered with his doctor, proudly telling Dr. Stephens about his latest discovery.\n \u201cDoc, I\u2019m blessed,\u201d he said. \u201cGod knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I\u2019m done!\u201d\n The doctor chuckled, but a nagging curiosity led him to call George\u2019s wife later that day.\n \u201cMaria,\u201d he said. \u201cYour husband\u2019s test results are just fine. But he said something strange! He claims that God turns the lights on and off for him when he uses the bathroom at night.\u201d\n George\u2019s wife laughed out loud.\n \u201cThat old fool! He\u2019s been peeing in the refrigerator again! I thought it was the dog!\u201d\n The Forgetful Lunch Date About 40 minutes later, the wife gasped, realizing she had left her glasses on the table.\n To make matters worse, it took them ages to find a place to turn around.\n The husband grumbled and complained the entire way back, his frustration making the journey unbearable.\n Finally, they arrived at the diner.\n Just as she was stepping out of the car, her husband called after her, \u201cWhile you\u2019re in there, grab my hat and the credit card too!\u201d\n The Family Secret One Sunday morning, George burst into the living room and proclaimed, \u201cDad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.\u201d\n After dinner, George\u2019s dad took him aside and said, \u201cSon, I have to talk with you. Look at your mom, George. She and I have been married for 30 years. She\u2019s a wonderful wife and mother, but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half-sister, and I\u2019m afraid you can\u2019t marry her.\u201d\n George was heartbroken. After eight months, he eventually started dating girls again. A year later, he came home and very proudly announced, \u201cDiane said yes! We\u2019re getting married in June.\u201d\n Again, his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. \u201cDiane is your half-sister too, George. I\u2019m awfully sorry about this.\u201d\n George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared.\n \u201cDad has done so much harm. I guess I\u2019m never going to get married,\u201d he complained. \u201cEvery time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister.\u201d\n His mother chuckled, shaking her head, \u201cDon\u2019t pay any attention to what he says. He\u2019s not really your father.\u201d\n Grandpa Turns 100! \u201cWhat\u2019s your secret, Derek?\u201d a guest asked.\n \u201cI\u2019ll tell you,\u201d Grandpa said, taking a forkful of cake. \u201cI\u2019ve been in the open air, day after day for some 75 years now.\u201d\n The crowd gasped.\n \u201cHow did you keep up such a rigorous fitness regime?\u201d someone asked.\n \u201cWell,\u201d Grandpa began with a twinkle in his eye as he looked to Gran. \u201cMy wife and I made a pledge on our wedding night. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was wrong would go outside and take a walk!\u201d\n Horse Races and Hilarious Misunderstandings His wife was holding a slip of paper with the name \u201cMary\u201d scrawled on it.\n \u201cWhat\u2019s this about?\u201d she demanded.\n \u201cDarling,\u201d he stammered, \u201cMary was the name of the horse I bet on last week at the races!\u201d\n She apologized and kissed him on the cheek. But just a few days later, she stormed into the room and slapped him across the face.\n \u201cWhat now?\u201d he groaned.\n \u201cYour horse just called,\u201d she replied icily.\n The Fried Eggs Incident A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.\n \u201cCareful,\u201d he said, \u201cCareful! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You\u2019re cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! Where are we going to get more butter?! They\u2019re going to stick! Careful. Careful! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you\u2019re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Don\u2019t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt!\u201d\n The wife stared at him. \u201cWhat in the world is wrong with you? You think I don\u2019t know how to fry a couple of eggs?\u201d\n The husband calmly replied, \u201cSure you do. I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I\u2019m driving.\u201d\n William and Kevin\u2019s Adventure at the Supermarket \u201cEasy, William, we won\u2019t be long\u2026 easy boy,\u201d he said soothingly.\n At the checkout, the chaos continued.\n The little terror of a child threw items out of the trolley, but the grandad\u2019s composure never wavered.\n \u201cWilliam, William, relax buddy. Don\u2019t get upset. Don\u2019t get upset. We\u2019ll be home in five minutes. Stay cool, William. Keep your cool, William.\u201d\n Outside, the woman approached the grandfather.\n \u201cI know it\u2019s none of my business, but you were amazing in there! William is very lucky to have you as his grandad.\u201d\n The old man smiled widely and then chuckled.\n \u201cThanks, but I am William. This little guy\u2019s name is Kevin!\u201d\n Whether you\u2019re swapping these jokes with loved ones or keeping them handy for the next gathering, laughter truly is the best medicine.\n Post Pagination Jokes,Quiz Jokes Jokes Jokes,Quiz Jokes Jokes X Families are held together by laughter, and there\u2019s no better way to strengthen ties than with a selection of jokes that everyone can laugh at. This ultimate collection of family-friendly humor, which includes cheeky puns and heart-stopping one-liners, is sure to make your day. These carefully chosen treasures are ideal for all ages, whether you\u2019re\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":104402,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[375],"class_list":{"0":"post-104396","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes","8":"tag-jokes-funny-laugh"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/finally-gone.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104396","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=104396"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104396\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":104403,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104396\/revisions\/104403"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/104402"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=104396"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=104396"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=104396"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nIn any marriage, there are bound to be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels taken for granted. This joke takes that scenario to the extreme, as a wife decides to teach her husband a lesson with a note \u2014 only to find herself caught off guard by his response.\n
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\nThree mischievous grandmas were sitting on a bench outside of their nursing home, laughing their heads off like giggling girls.\n
\nSuspicious of his wife\u2019s fidelity, a man came home early and tore through the house, searching for evidence. He glanced out the window and spotted a man sitting in a Volkswagen.\n
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\nSometimes, what starts as a simple misunderstanding can escalate quickly, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously highlights how a situation can spiral out of control when assumptions are made \u2014 until the truth comes out, leaving everyone in stitches.\n
\nWithout fail, George went for his annual check-up every year. He prided himself on staying fit and healthy by going on walks in the neighborhood, though age had taken its toll on his eyesight.\n
\nDuring a road trip, an older couple stopped for lunch at a cozy roadside diner. After enjoying their meal, they returned to the car and hit the road.\n
\nFamily secrets can sometimes be shocking, but they also make for some of the funniest and most unexpected stories. In this joke, a young man\u2019s excitement about his upcoming marriage takes a surprising turn when his father reveals some startling information, leading to an even more hilarious twist.\n
\nAt Grandpa\u2019s 100th birthday celebration, everyone marveled at how athletic and lean he looked.\n
\nA peaceful morning turned chaotic when a man felt a sudden smack on the back of his head.\n
\nSometimes, everyday situations like cooking breakfast can become the source of a light-hearted argument between spouses. This joke takes that relatable scenario and turns it into a hilarious commentary on how we all sometimes feel the need to give unsolicited advice, especially when the roles are reversed.\n
\nIn the supermarket, a woman watched a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson with growing admiration. The child screamed for sweets and biscuits, yet the grandad remained calm.\n
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