Hilarious Step-By-Step: How To Wash A Cat \u2013 Must Read!\n
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they \u201click\u201d themselves clean. Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach).\n
Cats, like their nemesis, the dog\u2026 do get dirty and have a variety of odors\u2026 from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog\u2019s breath (Remember\u2026 your dog will try to eat anything.)\n
Now we all know that cats HATE water! And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease this process of a bath is out of the question. So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct.\n
Remember now, this is not the dumb dog who can be led to tub with lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits.\n
Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you\u2026 you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.\n
1.First\u2026 dress for the occasion, A 4-ply rubber wet suit is suggested, along with a helmet, face mask and welder\u2019s gloves.\n 2. A Bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 3.5 seconds.\n 3. Have the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub area beforehand. 4. Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat. 5. Find your cat. 6. Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom\u2026 speed is essential. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life.\n Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that he now has soapy fur. His state of shock has worn off and he\u2019s madder than a wet hornet.\n 7. As best you can, wearing welder\u2019s gloves, try to field his body as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling 8. During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub vigorously 9. Only attempt the lather and rinse process about 3 times 10. Next, the cat must be dried. No\u2026 this is NOT the easiest part\n By this stage, you are worn out and the cat has just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. We suggest here that you drain the tub and in full view of your cat, reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.\n 11.If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and hanging precariously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him.\n 12. Be sure cat is firmly wrapped in a towel before opening the tub enclosure. 13. In about 2 hours\u2026 it will be safe to exit the bathroom\n Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small hedgehog while plotting revenge.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Hilarious Step-By-Step: How To Wash A Cat \u2013 Must Read! Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they \u201click\u201d themselves clean. Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach). Cats, like their nemesis, the\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":65070,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-65068","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/pizap-1-4-1024x537-1.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65068","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=65068"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65068\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/65070"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=65068"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=65068"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=65068"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nNo\u2026 blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.\n
\nPosition everything strategically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.\n
\nUse the element of surprise. Pick the cat up, nonchalantly as if you were simply carrying him\/her to the supper dish. No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire\u2026 the cat barely notices you anyway.\n
\nIn one single liquid motion, shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding doors, and drop the cat into the water. While the cat is still in a state of shock, locate the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of him is above the water line\n
\nIf possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles with his body now fully exposed.\n
\nNo need to worry about rinsing! As he slides down the glass enclosure into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.\n
\nThe cat will realize the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next attempt on the first available part of you.\n
\nOpen bathroom door\u2026 put towel wrapped cat on floor and step back quickly
\nInto tub, if possible, and do not open enclosure until all you can see is the shredded towel.\n