{"id":65191,"date":"2024-01-11T10:04:16","date_gmt":"2024-01-11T03:04:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alternatech.net\/?p=65191"},"modified":"2025-02-07T14:50:11","modified_gmt":"2025-02-07T07:50:11","slug":"the-best-divorce-letter-ever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/the-best-divorce-letter-ever\/","title":{"rendered":"The Best Divorce Letter Ever"},"content":{"rendered":"<h4><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>Dear Wife,\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>I\u2019m writing you this letter to tell you that I\u2019m leaving you forever.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>I\u2019ve been a good man to you for 7 years &amp; I have nothing to show for it.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>These last 2 weeks have been hell. &hellip; Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today &amp; that was the last straw.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Last week, you came home &amp; didn\u2019t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal &amp; even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, &amp; went straight to sleep after watching all of your<br>\n<span style='\"font-size:'>soaps.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>You don\u2019t tell me you love me anymore; you don\u2019t want sex or anything that connects us as husband &amp; wife.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Either you\u2019re cheating on me or you don\u2019t love me anymore; whatever the case, I\u2019m gone.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>Signed,\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Your EX-Husband\n<h5><span style='\"font-size:'><em><strong>P.S: Don\u2019t try to find me. Your SISTER &amp; I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!\n<h4><span style='\"font-size:'>Dear Husband\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>It\u2019s true you &amp; I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you\u2019ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining &amp; griping\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Too bad that doesn\u2019t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was <strong>&ldquo;You look just like a girl!&rdquo;\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can\u2019t say something nice, I didn\u2019t comment.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, &amp; I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you &amp; felt we could work it out.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job &amp; bought us 2 tickets to Dubai\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>But when I got home you were gone&hellip;\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Everything happens for a reason, I guess.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won\u2019t get a dime from me. So take care.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>Signed,\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Your Ex-Wife,\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>Rich and Free!\n<h5><span style='\"font-size:'><em><strong>P.S: I don\u2019t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was actually born Carl. He underwent a sexual change. I hope that\u2019s not a&hellip;problem. Haha\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Wife, I\u2019m writing you this letter to tell you that I\u2019m leaving you forever. I\u2019ve been a good man to you for 7 years &amp; I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. &hellip; Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today &amp; that\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":111739,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"Dear Wife, I\u2019m writing you this letter to tell you that I\u2019m leaving you forever. I\u2019ve been a good man to you for 7 years &amp; I have nothing...","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[370,610],"class_list":{"0":"post-65191","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes","8":"tag-funny","9":"tag-joke"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/THE-BEST-DIVORCE-LETTER-EVER.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65191","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=65191"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65191\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":111740,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65191\/revisions\/111740"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/111739"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=65191"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=65191"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=65191"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}</p></strong></em></span></h5></strong></span></p></span></p></strong></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></strong></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></h4></strong></em></span></h5></span></p></strong></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></strong></span></h4>