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Paddy told his grandson the secret to a long life.\n
He said, \u201cYou gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your porridge see. If you do, you\u2019ll live to a nice ripe old age.\u201d\n So the grandson did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to the nice ripe old age of 96.\n When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren\n \u2026and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.\n —————————–\n Ageing Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Eric.\n She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in d3ath.\n Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Eric\u2019s old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.\n Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.\n \u201cOn a woman,\u201d the doctor said, \u201cYour heart would be just below your left breast.\u201d\n Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a g.u.nshot wound to her knee.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Paddy told his grandson the secret to a long life. He said, \u201cYou gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your porridge see. If you do, you\u2019ll live to a nice ripe old age.\u201d So the grandson did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to the nice ripe old age of 96. When\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":67406,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[375],"class_list":{"0":"post-67396","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes","8":"tag-jokes-funny-laugh"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/30-e1706956663173.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67396","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=67396"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67396\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/67406"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=67396"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=67396"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=67396"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Despondent Old Woman\n