{"id":72379,"date":"2024-04-04T10:42:43","date_gmt":"2024-04-04T03:42:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/?p=72379"},"modified":"2024-04-04T10:42:43","modified_gmt":"2024-04-04T03:42:43","slug":"a-man-applies-for-a-government-job","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/a-man-applies-for-a-government-job\/","title":{"rendered":"A man applies for a government job"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style='\"font-size:'>A man goes to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him,\n<p><strong><span style='\"font-size:'>\u201cAre you allergic to anything?<span style='\"font-size:'>\u201c\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>He replies, <strong>\u201cYes, caffeine. I can\u2019t drink coffee.\u201d\n<p><strong><span style='\"font-size:'>\u201cOK, have you ever been in the military service?\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cYes,\u201d he says,<strong> \u201cI was in Afghanistan for one tour.<strong><span style='\"font-size:'>\u201c\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>The interviewer says, <strong>\u201cThat will give you 5 extra points toward employment.<strong><span style='\"font-size:'>\u201c\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Then he asks,<strong> \u201cAre you disabled in any way?\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>The guy says, <strong>\u201cYes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles.&rdquo;\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>The interviewer grimaces and then says, \u201cOkay.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>You\u2019ve got enough points for me to hire you right now.\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>\u201cOur normal hours are from 8 am to 4 pm.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>You can start tomorrow at 10 am and plan on starting at 10 am every day.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>\u201cThe guy is puzzled and asks,<br>\n<span style='\"font-size:'>\u201cIf the work hours are from 8 am to 4 pm, why don\u2019t you want me here until 10 am?\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>\u201cThis is a government job,\u201d the interviewer says.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>\u201cFor the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>So no point in your coming in for that.\u201d\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A man goes to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, \u201cAre you allergic to anything?\u201c He replies, \u201cYes, caffeine. I can\u2019t drink coffee.\u201d \u201cOK, have you ever been in the military service?\u201d \u201cYes,\u201d he says, \u201cI was in Afghanistan for one tour.\u201c The interviewer says, \u201cThat will give you\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":72383,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-72379","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/A-man-applies-for-a-government-job.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72379","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=72379"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72379\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/72383"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=72379"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=72379"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=72379"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}</p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></span></strong></strong></span></p></span></strong></strong></strong></span></p></span></strong></p></strong></span></p></span></span></strong></p></span></p>