{"id":80377,"date":"2024-06-24T15:33:21","date_gmt":"2024-06-24T08:33:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/?p=80377"},"modified":"2024-06-24T15:33:21","modified_gmt":"2024-06-24T08:33:21","slug":"deep-thoughts-for-senior-this-is-hilarious","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/deep-thoughts-for-senior-this-is-hilarious\/","title":{"rendered":"Deep Thoughts For Senior. This Is Hilarious !"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style='\"font-size:'>When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>To me,<b> &ldquo;drink responsibly&rdquo; means don&rsquo;t spill it.\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'>Age 60 might be the new 40, but 8:00pm is the new midnight.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>It\u2019s the start of a brand new day, and I\u2019m off like a herd of turtles.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>The older I get, the earlier it gets late.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>When I say &ldquo;<b>The other day,\u201d I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'>I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>I had my patience tested. I\u2019m negative.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn\u2019t fit any of your containers.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>If you\u2019re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say <b>\u201cDid you bring the money?\u201d\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'>When you ask me what I\u2019m doing today, and I say \u201cnothing,\u201d it does not mean I am free to help you, it just means I am doing nothing.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>I finally got eight hours of sleep. 3 hours Monday, 3 hours Tuesday, and 2 hours Wednesday.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>I run like the winded.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don\u2019t know whose side I\u2019m on.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, <b>\u201cWhy, what did you hear?\u201d\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'>I don\u2019t mean to interrupt people, I just randomly remember things and get really excited.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>When I ask for directions, please don\u2019t use words like <b>\u201cEast.\u201d\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'>Don\u2019t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head, and that\u2019ll freak you out.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>My luck is like a bald guy that just won a comb.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison. To me, &ldquo;drink responsibly&rdquo; means don&rsquo;t spill it. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 8:00pm is the new midnight. It\u2019s the start of a brand new day, and I\u2019m off like a herd of turtles. The older I get, the\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":80388,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676,642],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-80377","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes","8":"category-moral-story"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Deep-Thoughts-For-Senior.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80377","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=80377"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80377\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/80388"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=80377"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=80377"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=80377"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}</p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p>