I Visited My Ex-wife\u2019s House and Saw My Kids Fundraising \u2014 When I Found Out What for, My Heart Sank I never thought that going to my ex-wife\u2019s house would involve a cookie sale that would alter everything. However, little did I know that when I walked up to my kids\u2019 small fundraising booth, I would be having the hardest, most heartbreaking conversation of my life.As I entered my ex-wife Goldie\u2019s driveway, the sun was lowering, creating elongated shadows on her immaculate lawn.\n
My name is Nathaniel, and I used to live here as well. I\u2019m 38 years old. It\u2019s merely a further indication of how much has changed now.Although Goldie and I parted ways eight months ago, we\u2019ve made an effort to maintain good relations for the sake of our children, Jack and Sarah. They are essentially tiny children, ages 7 and 5, enmeshed in the chaos we have created. So far, you know, we\u2019ve been able to co-parent without a lot of turmoil. Taking shifts picking up students from school, scheduling weekends, all of it. However, I could not have been more unprepared for what transpired that night. I was stopping by to pick up some paperwork I had left behind from my previous visit. I saw Sarah and Jack sitting in front, fundraising, as I killed the engine. A little table was prepared with an array of toys and sweets. My pride grew within me. Take a look at my self-starting youngsters!With a slight stiffness in my knees, I got out of the car.\n
Aging, I suppose. I walked over, patting Jack\u2019s hair as I got closer. \u201cHey, what\u2019s all this, champ?\u201d Sarah looked as happy as a Christmas tree. \u201cWe\u2019re raising money for a special cause, Daddy!\u201d I smiled and grabbed my wallet. \u201cWell, I\u2019m unable to refuse that. How much is a cookie worth? Jack extended three fingers. \u201cThree dollars!\u201dI arched an eyebrow. \u201cA cookie costs three dollars? You\u2019re baking something really elegant there.\u201d Sarah gave a somber nod. \u201cIt\u2019s for something really important, Daddy.\u201d I sensed something wasn\u2019t quite right as I was going to inquire about this significant cause. Goldie had not shown up to greet us. It was strange. Even when our relationship isn\u2019t the best, she usually comes out to at least wave. I wanted to check it out for myself as I assumed she was probably chained inside. \u201cPlease come back soon, kids,\u201d I urged as I made my way to the front door. \u201cSave me a cookie, okay?\u201d As soon as I entered the house, I felt a rush of nostalgia. The sound of the ancient grandfather clock in the living room ticking away, combined with the comforting aroma of Goldie\u2019s favorite candles. It resembled going back in time. \u201cHey,\u201d I yelled, my voice resonating along the corridor. \u201cWhat are the kids raising money for?\u201d Goldie emerged from the kitchen with a stressed-out, pinched-face expression on her face. She had a speck of flour on her cheek, most likely from making those cookies that cost three dollars. \u201cWhat?\u201d she inquired, her tone betraying her uncertainty. \u201cI thought they were just playing in the backyard.\u201d I scowled and pointed to the front door.\n
\u201cWell, no, they\u2019re setting up a table in front and collecting money for a cause. You were unaware?\u201d She massaged her temples and groaned. That gesture was one I recognized. She does that in an attempt to prevent a headache.\u201cI\u2019ve been occupied with packing your belongings and handling the necessary paperwork. I had no idea what they were planning.\u201d At that point, our old tendencies of bickering gave way. She retaliated against me for continuously criticizing her parenting after I accused her of not paying attention. Then we both realized what had happened. Nobody was benefiting from this, least of all the children. \u201cLook,\u201d I murmured while inhaling deeply. \u201cLet\u2019s just go see what they\u2019re doing, okay?\u201d Goldie wiped her hands on her slacks and nodded. Yes, you are correct. Come on, let\u2019s go.\u201d I couldn\u2019t help but notice the pile of boxes in the corner as we made our way to the door. My attic stuff, all packed up and ready to move out. One additional indication that this was no longer my home. We moved outside onto the veranda, with the cold evening breeze caressing my skin. I squatted very close to the table and spoke softly. \u201cHey everyone. For what precise purpose are you raising money?\u201dJack gave me a glance with those large, naive eyes. The identical eyes that used to beam with joy upon my return from work, pleading for one more bedtime tale. He declared, \u201cWe\u2019re raising money to buy a new Daddy!\u201dMy stomach fell as if I had just stepped on something while heading downstairs. \u201cHow come? Did you just say that you\u2019re attempting to purchase a new father? I looked over at Goldie.\n
Her eyes were wide with shock and her face had gone pale. God, no, no, she said in a trembling voice. \u201cWhere did you get that ridiculous idea?\u201d \u201cMommy said that Daddy is sick in the head, so we need a new one,\u201d Sarah added. I had the impression that I had been punched in the gut. I glanced at Goldie, and I saw the terror spreading across her face as well. Our children had a glaring misunderstanding of the terms of the divorce. They took it as a sign that I was leaving permanently and that they would have to find someone else.Goldie bent over and took their hands tenderly. Her tone was gentle, reminiscent of the times she would reassure them following a bad dream. \u201cNo, sweethearts, it wasn\u2019t my intention. Neither Daddy nor we need a new one is ill. Even if we are moving out of our joint residence, Daddy will always be your father.\u201d I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. That\u2019s correct, I was able to respond. \u201cI\u2019ll be here for you at all times. Our family hasn\u2019t changed; we\u2019re still close. Guys, you don\u2019t have to raise money to get a new daddy.\n
I am your DADDY forever!\u201d I was heartbroken by the confused expression on their faces. How could we have made such a huge mistake that our children felt I needed to be replaced? For the next hour, we sat on those front steps and tried to make sense of what divorce actually meant to Sarah and Jack. Now that the sun had fully fallen, the porch light was softly glowing over us. We often told them that nothing would ever change our love for them, which was more than everything in the world.Sarah asked, her forehead wrinkled in concentration, \u201cBut if Daddy\u2019s not sick, why can\u2019t he live with us anymore?\u201d My heart began to shatter once more. How would you explain this kind of thing to a child? I began, very carefully selecting my words, \u201cSometimes, adults decide they can\u2019t live together anymore.\u201d However, that doesn\u2019t lessen our affection for you.\u201d Jack\u2019s bottom lip quivered, and I noticed tears welling up in his eyes. \u201cDid we do something bad?\u201d \u201cNo!\u201d Together, Goldie and I said. I hugged him, felt his little body quiver with tears. \u201cThis is unrelated to you people. You did not act improperly. Sarah said, \u201cWe just want things to go back to normal,\u201d her face wet with tears. I looked over at Goldie and saw that she was fighting back the tears as well. With a raspy murmur, \u201cI know, sweetheart,\u201d she said. \u201cBut sometimes it\u2019s nice to change.\n
Alright, let\u2019s establish a new normal together.\u201d\u201cBut why?\u201d With his words muffled against my shirt, Jack questioned. \u201cWhy can\u2019t you just love each other again?\u201d That question came like a huge brick in my mind. How can you tell a five-year-old that love isn\u2019t enough all the time? \u201cOh, buddy,\u201d I exclaimed, sounding like a choked gasp. \u201cYes, I do love you, your mom. We shall always do. However, adults occasionally require different things in order to be happy.\u201d \u201cAre you happy now?\u201d Sarah enquired as she looked across my face. I noticed that Goldie\u2019s eyes were reflecting the same pain as mine. \u201cWe\u2019re working on it,\u201d I said truthfully. And you know what would truly bring us joy? observing your two happiness.\u201d Their anxious looks began to soften as the night went on. We discussed how things would proceed, how they would spend time with both of us, and how our family activities would still be done together.Sarah raised her gaze to us, hope shining in her eyes. \u201cSo, we don\u2019t need to sell cookies and our toys to get a new Daddy?\u201d I forced a smile and tousled her hair.\n
\u201cNo, you don\u2019t. But hey, perhaps we could sell cookies to raise money for those in need, right? Why don\u2019t we work together to raise funds for a worthy cause?\u201d That thought brightened up their expressions, and for the first time that evening, I thought maybe we hadn\u2019t blown it all. \u201cCan we help kids who don\u2019t have toys?\u201d Jack enquired, the thrill of a fresh idea erasing his previous tears. I gave him a soft squeeze and remarked, \u201cThat\u2019s a great idea, buddy.\u201d We can investigate several nearby nonprofits together. Perhaps locate one that aids underprivileged children.\u201d I was filled with regret as we sat there, organizing our next fundraising endeavor.For an instant, I regretted what my wife and I had done when I saw what the divorce had done to my children and how bewildered they were by the abrupt shift. Perhaps we ought to have waited a little longer before saying goodbye. Nevertheless, I knew we had made the correct decision when I looked at Goldie and saw the same mix of concern and affection in her eyes. Even though we were no longer a family, we were nonetheless close. Yes, different, but yet incredibly loving. \u201cYou know what?\u201d As she stood up and brushed off her clothes, Goldie replied. This seems like a good time for some ice cream. Who\u2019s allowed in?\u201dThe children applauded, forgetting their earlier anguish for a little while. I met Goldie\u2019s eye as we made our way inside. She smiled slightly and gave me a hug, which I gave back. Though we still had a long way to go, perhaps we could manage to adjust to this new normal.And that was all that mattered just now, with the promise of ice cream and the sound of our children laughing filling the air.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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