\nTwo ladies swap \u2018How I Died\u2019 stories in heaven \u2014 and the punchline is priceless\n
I came across this hilarious story and just had to share it! It\u2019s a funny twist on what might happen if two ladies met in heaven and swapped their \u201chow did you get here\u201d stories.\n
\n
Here\u2019s how it went:\n
1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda!\n
2nd woman: Hi! I\u2019m Sylvia. How\u2019d you die?\n
1st woman: I froze to death.\n
2nd woman: How horrible!\n
1st woman: It wasn\u2019t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?\n
2nd woman: I\u2026 died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.\n
1st woman: So, what happened?\n
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched,and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.\n
1st woman: Too bad you didn\u2019t look in the freezer\u2014we\u2019d both still be alive!\n
Remember, laughter is the best medicine, so be sure to send this on to someone whose day you want to brighten!\n
A bus full of nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of Heaven and meet St. Peter.\n
St. Peter says to them, \u201cSisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single-file line.\u201d\n
And they do so.\n
St. Peter turns to the first nun in the line and asks her, \u201cSister, have you ever touched a penis?\u201d\n
The sister responds, \u201cWell, there was this one time\u2026 that I kinda sorta\u2026 touched one with the tip of my pinky finger\u2026\u201d\n
St. Peter says, \u201cAlright sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.\u201d\n
She does so, and is let into Heaven.\n
St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says, \u201cSister, have you ever touched a penis?\u201d\n
\u201cWell\u2026. there was this one time\u2026 that I held one for a moment\u2026\u201d\n
\u201cAlright sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.\u201d\n
She does so, and is let into Heaven.\n
Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another!\n
St. Peter sees this and asks the nun, \u201cSister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!\u201d\n
Sister Susan responds, \u201cWell, if I\u2019m going to have to gargle this stuff, I\u2019d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!\u201d\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Two ladies swap \u2018How I Died\u2019 stories in heaven \u2014 and the punchline is priceless I came across this hilarious story and just had to share it! It\u2019s a funny twist on what might happen if two ladies met in heaven and swapped their \u201chow did you get here\u201d stories. Here\u2019s how it went: 1st\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":97520,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[384],"class_list":{"0":"post-97517","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes","8":"tag-jokes"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/ladies-heaven.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97517","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=97517"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97517\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":97521,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97517\/revisions\/97521"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/97520"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=97517"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=97517"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/justmetalking.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=97517"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}